It's time to sit and write about Callie's birth before I forget most of it. I have a bad memory, mommy brain and I'm lacking in sleep these days. Let me start by saying I had a home birth and even though I ended up getting transferred to the hospital both my husband and I agree if we had it to do again we would do another home birth. Sorry this is going to be long but cathartic for me.
On the 28th I started to spot some, so I think my bloody show was starting and that continued and then on the 30th my bag of waters was leaking and continued to get heavier to where I had to use a heavy pad instead of a pantyliner.
So on July 30th my 18 month old was drinking a smoothie I made him on our living room floor out of a plastic cup using a reusable hard plastic straw and he fell forward and cut a huge deep gash into the middle of the roof of his mouth. He bled a ton! Me being a mother and two weeks over due pregnant I freaked out and was screaming and crying and calling my husband who couldn't understand me. I then called my girlfriend who is in the medical field and she came over to help us. The gushing blood stop but it still bled off and on and he cried off and on which isn't like him. He's a pretty tough little boy. At first we thought since it was in the mouth it would heal on its own okay but the more I looked at it the more it worried me, there was a lot of skin hanging and it looked deep.
I called the pediatrician nurse line since the office was closing and she said if it was longer than an inch to go to the ER. I was trying to avoid the ER since I was over due pregnant and didn't want to be stuck in a waiting room for hours. My friend suggested to go to the ER since they would have an ENT specialist and an urgent care office would not. My husband came home from work and we all three took my son to the ER. We got admitted very quickly so that was good. The bad news was the doctor said it wouldn't repair itself and my son would need sutures and would have to be put under for it. I was so glad my best friend was there to support me and keep us calm. She even helped out when nurses were messing up my sons IV install. I had to leave the room for that! It was a stressful and emotional day to say the least. His doctor was awesome and the nurses loved my sweet son. My mother in law came and hung out with us too.
We got there around 4:30 and didn't get home until around 11:30 and at that point my labor was slowly starting. It was an active two days and I didn't get any sleep. I tried to sleep so I would be rested for labor but my contractions were bothering me too bad. Oh yea that whole time I was at the hospital for my son I was trying to hide the fact that I was quite uncomfortable and was having contractions by the end at every five minutes or so. I ran out of pads to hold my leaking water though and had to use newborn diapers the midwife had! We had to laugh at the situation. My midwife met me in the parking lot and listened to the baby and all was good. She went home and so did we once we got our son. My husband slept and so did my son for a little bit but then my son started crying and I couldn't let him cry because he had just had surgery on his mouth and his cry sounded so awful! Needless to say we all ended up in our full sized guest bed for a while and the boys slept and mom shifted around uncomfortably! It was a sweet moment though.
I had a great doula too, that happens to be a close family friend. She's very sweet and compassionate. She works on weekends and had just gotten back from a beach trip so it was just meant to be that she was able to make the birth. Friday was the only day she could make it and that was the day I went into labor! Talk about timing!
I ended up getting up and standing in the shower for a while, that felt really good. The warm water on my back was awesome. Then I filled up our master bathtub and hung out in there for a while sipping on juice. My son woke up around 6:15 instead of his normal 7:30 and he wanted his mommy badly. He got in the tub with me and played some. In the pictures his mouth was still very swollen and he didn't look like himself at all! He started to throw toys at me so we got him out of that tub. I can't remember exactly what time we called the midwife and doula to come but it was probably around 6 or so. I was never sure when a good time to call them was and also never called my photographer friend. Some times it's better to have less people there and a calm environment.
My husband was filling up the birthing tub with the midwife but the water was way too hot for me to get into. Our son at one point was trying to help add cold water to it. When I finally got in the birth tub it felt so good. Our son was throwing his lovey into the birth pool and getting fussy so we texted my mother in law to come hang out with our son. I was just going to have my husband and the midwife team at home for the birth but we ended up needing my mother in law and she was a great help. It was especially good that she was there when I had to go to the hospital!
Once my son went downstairs my labor started to progress quicker according to the midwife. My husband and doula both worked hard at massaging my back and doing counter pressure. The team kept bringing cold washcloths with hints of essential oils on them for my forehead and that was great! I had birth affirmations and scriptures hanging all around the bedroom and bathroom that my friends had written. I had an awesome play list playing on the Bose speaker. Most of the time everyone was quiet unless I talked to them or I needed encouragement. It was a relaxing atmosphere.
I was probably in labor for 12 or so hours give or take and pushed for about 2.5 hours. With my first child I pushed for 3 hours in the hospital with an epidural and pitocin. This birth was unmedicated but because Callie was coming out in a position called military presentation it slowed things down and made them more difficult to get her out. That means she was coming out with her forehead tilted upwards. military presentation picture I was so hoping that since it was my second child and I wasn't using pitocin or an epidural that the process would be quicker this time! ahh We can't always get what we want I guess. I know me not being laid back in a bed like in the hospital helped things, gravity helps get the baby out. If I would have been in the hospital they would have forced me into a C-section because her heart rate dropped for a few minutes and it was taking a while.
I labored in the birth tub most of the time but towards the end I had to get out and labor on the birth stool and then I labored on all fours on the hardwood floor beside our master bed! That is the position that she finally came out in. I liked being in the water because I could switch positions very easily. Her heart rate had dropped so I had to get her out quickly! Her head and body came out all at once, which isn't common! We all knew it was an act of God. I had been talking to God most of the delivery and my midwives prayed too. It was pure coincidence or just God intervening that I ended up with a midwife and midwife assistant there were both Christians. Our baby girl came out behind me so I didn't see whether she was a boy or girl. We didn't find out her sex until she was born, we wanted it to be a surprise. Someone had mentioned the word bud or boy so we didn't even think it was a girl for a little bit. We were shocked!! It actually took it like a week or more for it to kick in that we have a girl.
Once she came out we waited until the umbilical cord stopped pulsing and then daddy cut it while I was in the bed nursing and having skin to skin. The placenta came out easily on its own shortly after baby was born. I laid in bed for about an hour after she was born while she got checked out. I went to stand up with help to go soak in the bath tub and get cleaned up and that's when I started to hemorrhage. I couldn't really see it happening. They laid me back down and let me husband know that we should call an ambulance. He had knee surgery in May so he couldn't carry me to the car. The reason I hemorrhaged was because pieces of the membranes from the sac surrounding the baby came loose and remained in my uterus. There were clots inside and it was pushing my uterus higher than it should be. I almost passed out but didn't.
The EMS and rescue team came and talked to us. It wasn't a rushed or crazy thing. I didn't feel scared, I was just upset that I had to leave my babies and go to the hospital, which I was trying to avoid to start with. They had a chair they were going to have me sit in to go down our stairs, I was like are you crazy?! I just tore and gave birth. They brought this special "mega mover" tarp thing they use for heavy patients instead so it would be easier on my bum. It looked like I was being carried down the stairs in a body bag. Thank goodness my mother in law shielded my son from seeing that! I remember being outside in the bright SUN and it was blinding and hot out and I asked the rescue team if anyone was outside looking at me haha. I got an IV in the EMS and fluids. They didn't speed to the hospital or turn on their sirens. The hospital is like 8 minutes from our house which is another reason I was okay with doing a home birth.
The worst part pain wise was all that took place at the hospital. I would rather be in labor again than deal with that stuff. I had a catheter inserted three times. That was super painful! especially since I was all swollen. I had like 5 different people press on my stomach to try to push my uterus down. I had a third almost fourth degree tear that I had to get stitches for. My clots had to pushed out and scooped out. I was starving, exhausted and weak! I wanted food and sleep so badly but it was going to be a long time before I would get those. They wouldn't let me eat real food until after some of the pain meds were given that I begged for once I knew I was getting stitches. I had to bed for crackers and juice and pillows. They gave me pitocin so my uterus could contract back down some more.
I was so emotional at the hospital and on the way. I don't think I've ever cried so much! I was sad that things didn't work out the way I wanted them to or had planned in my head or like I had watched on Youtube. I was sad to be leaving my two children. I was very hormonal. I was also racking my brain with all the medical bills adding up, husband had knee surgery, my son had mouth surgery and now I was in the hospital too! My mother in law later brought my daughter to us and some much needed food. I wouldn't have been able to get through that day without all the family that helped. My mother in law cared for our two children for a while. My brother and sister in law took my son to our in laws house to spend the night and watched him while she was with us at the hospital. Everyone was where they needed to be when we needed them!
Because I wasn't able to stand up on my own to go to the bathroom because I was so weak and because I couldn't pee on my own even into a bed pan I had to stay in the hospital overnight and our daughter stayed with us. I lost a lot of blood so my body took a while to gain the strength needed to get out of the hospital but I went home the next afternoon and didn't need a transfusion. I was drinking so much fluids and eating a ton of food trying to be able to go home!!
Our baby girl was born perfectly healthy at 8.8lbs and 21.5" She came at 11:25am on July 31st! I have to just be happy that she and I are both healthy. I'm proud of myself for rocking a long hard unmedicated home birth! I'm working on learning to not be jealous of other women's faster, quicker, easier births or magical looking home or water births. Every birth and every pregnancy is different. I can't have another baby just to try to have a pretty water birth with beautiful pictures. I'm pretty sure we are done having kids. Two is a a good number for us! I would have never thought three years ago that it would have been something I could accomplish. I didn't just get through it and survive but I rocked it as my husband would say. He says I was a beast :) She is almost 12 pounds already! She's growing like a weed.
I feel so blessed to have both a boy and a girl. Our son is growing into such a good big brother. I'm proud of him already. Our little family is complete!
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